Two of the biggest artists in the world are under social media scrutiny.

Drake and Vybz Kartel.

Both artists have collaborated on an OVO/Jamaican Flag hoodie that is being sold for $240 - with $100 from each sale (within the first week) being donated to relief efforts in Jamaica.

Some people are wondering why they chose to sell a $240 hoodie as the way to help.

Some are wondering why they couldn’t donate money themselves.

Why do they have to sell something to give back?

And some are wondering why not all the proceeds? Why only $100?

And why only for a week?

And this is what makes giving and generosity so interesting to me.

Let’s break it down.

Why sell a hoodie instead of donating money yourself?

To ask that question, you would also have to consider why someone would try to involve as many people as possible in a cause where so much help is needed.

Can more be done by two people than by thousands?

You would also have to ask if this could be a way to get people who would not have given, to give?

“I gave to the people of Jamaica, and here is my proof” or “Every time I wear this hoodie I think about what happened in Jamaica, the people there, and what I did to help.”

How much is that worth?

Okay, but why only for one week?

Considering that humans are more likely to act under a deadline, how long should the donation period be?

If it were for a month, we would tell ourselves we have time, forget, and do nothing.

The constraint of one week moves people to act faster, and it ties into the immediacy of the need for the people in Jamaica.

But what about the fact that only $100 of the $240 is being donated to the efforts—less than half?

You’re right to be curious about that. I’m curious about it too. But the truth is, I don’t know. I don’t know why they didn’t decide to foot the cost of making and transporting the hoodies and donating 100% of all sales. That sounds better to me, but I don’t know. And I won’t try to pretend to know. Maybe it’s for good reason. Maybe not. Maybe this is a clear sign that this isn’t the effort I want to be a part of - that doesn’t mean it’s wrong. It’s just not for me, but can I find another way to contribute to the cause?

What I do know is that they could have done nothing.

Would that have been better?

How do you please everyone?

You can’t.

But you can please God. You can please your heart. And you can please some people.

Might that be enough?

This is not to say that people shouldn’t voice their opinion. That people shouldn’t give feedback. You should. Feedback is the way to improvement. There is no “better” without feedback. And don’t we all want to get better? I know I do.

What’s better than learning how to be better at giving?

What’s better than being better at generosity?

Still, there is a bigger question. A more important question. A question we all should ask ourselves and be open to feedback on.

What am I doing for the people of Jamaica?

Because in the end, is what someone else is doing more important than what you are doing?

Which one can you control?

If you have spent any time around me or read any of my writing on this topic, you probably know that giving anonymously is my favorite way to give. And now you can see at least one benefit as to why.

If Drake and Kartel had given without anyone knowing, they wouldn’t have opened themselves to scrutiny. But at what cost? Would you rather take the scrutiny knowing more people are being helped or would you rather avoid the scrutiny knowing less people are being helped? You decide.

This is why even my favorite way to give has its flaws. Giving anonymously does not rally the community. Giving anonymously does not bring the others. It’s only you, and you alone cannot do the work of many. In addition, giving anonymously closes the door to open feedback. And as we said earlier, feedback is the only way to better. How else will I get better at this generosity thing, if there is no incoming feedback?

So in the end it comes down to your heart.

Are you giving anonymously because you don’t want the scrutiny (*cough cough* feedback)

Or are you giving anonymously because you don’t want the praise?

..

Are you giving publicly because you want the praise?

Or are you giving publicly as a means to get others to join you in the efforts?

God knows.

You know.

Does anything else matter?

A woman had been asking the Lord for a revelation of the power of His blood.

Shortly after her prayer, she needed surgery.

During the surgery, the machine began to malfunction.

Instead of pumping blood into her body, it was draining blood from her body.

As her blood drained from her body, she felt herself growing weaker.

Just at the moment she was about to touch death, a doctor realized what was happening and adjusted the machine.

As her blood pumped back into her body, she felt her life coming back.

Suddenly she realized..

the answer to her prayer.

Jesse Itzler sends a gift to the host of every podcast he’s on.

Wait, huh?

Shouldn’t it be the other way around?

As Jesse sees it, there are 8 billion people in the world and they chose him to be on their podcast.

What a gift.

Hearing this got me thinking..

What if anytime it would be normal for someone to give you a gift, you gave them one instead?

Going on their podcast? Gift ‘em.

Celebrating your birthday together? Gift ‘em.

They’re staying at your house for the weekend? Gift ‘em.

Whatever it is, keep flipping the gift.

Marketer Dean Jackson teaches a simple framework to re-engage prospects: “(Prospect’s Name),

Are you still looking to ________?”

• Buy a house • Grow your newsletter traffic • Paint your house

Whatever your prospect said they wanted to do (that you can help them do).

Inspired by this framework, I developed a few variations of my own: “(Your Name),

Are you still looking to be generous?”

Or maybe a more actionable version:

“(Your Name),

Are you still looking to do one generous act per day?”

The difference between the two?

Instead of re-engaging with me, I’d much rather you re-engage with generosity.

Everyone talks about wanting to give back.

To their country.

To their people.

To their community.

Well..

Bad Bunny did what everyone talks about wanting to do.

His Puerto Rico residency attracted almost 500,000 visitors, and generated an estimated $733 million for the local economy.

Bad Bunny gave back.

To his country.

To his people.

To his community.

He did the very thing we all say we want to do.

Not because he held a bunch of concerts.

Many artists do that.

He did it by getting so good that hundreds of thousands of people wanted to see his concerts.

You want to give back?

You want to help your country?

Your people?

Your community?

Get good. Get really, really good. At something.

And instead of making them come to you, you go to them.

My mother’s..

At our wedding reception, while remarking about my wedding vows, my mother’s identical twin sister said something no one’s ever told me..

“You write just like your mother.”

Those six words meant the world to me.
They still mean the world to me now.

My mother wrote plenty.
And some of her best writing were plays she wrote for our church.
Plays that played on multiple sold-out nights.
Our church became known for our plays largely because of my mother’s writing.

What made my mother’s - I mean my aunt’s words especially touching, is that they came from her. Someone who knew my mother, in and out, out and in. Her inseparable best friend.

This was no ordinary compliment.
This compliment carried weight.
A silent commission..
Keep carrying your writing..
Or maybe my mother’s..

A few weeks ago, in a meeting with a group of colleagues, I shared my experience from a recent Burna Boy concert.

I wouldn’t have considered myself a Burna Boy or Afrobeats fan. For one, I confused Burna Boy with Stormzy, and two, other than the choruses from “Ye” and “Essence,” I knew the words to zero Afrobeats songs.

I’ve been to my fair share of concerts. I’ve seen a plethora of artists that many consider the G.O.A.T. of their genres.

But this might’ve been the greatest concert I’ve ever attended.

Maybe it was the atmosphere. It felt like I was in Africa.

Maybe it was the pride I felt watching an African artist representing his heritage so powerfully, delivering song after song, hit after hit.

Maybe it was how much they incorporated African culture into the set: the music and musicians, the backup singers and dancers, and the educational elements.

Maybe it was my four trips to Africa in the last seven months.

Maybe it was a culmination of them all.

Whatever it was, it was, and it was for three hours.

Burna Boy gave everything he had for three hours.

An insane performance from an incredible performer.

His showmanship and stage presence were among the best I’ve ever seen.

I shared these sentiments with my colleagues, which led to one colleague asking the group:

What if we gave three hours to our fans?

What would it look like?

What if we gave three hours to the people who love and support us?

All out.

For three hours.

Everything we have to the people who have subscribed and enrolled on the journey with us.

Three hours for the people who have raised their hands and said, “Yes, I am a fan, show me.”

The people who want to see us, who want to hear from us.

What would we give them? How would we show up for them?

Those who are looking to us.

What if you gave three hours to your fans?

And when I lock eyes with you, I see my reflection.

I see me in you. I see what is possible because of you.

When I look in the mirror. When someone gives me a compliment.

When it’s hard. When it’s tough. When I fall. When I get up.

When I pray. When I laugh. When I cry. When I dance.

When I read. When I write. When I speak.

When I walk through the house.

Mom I see you.

When I’m kind. When I’m not. When I’m honest. When I lie.

When I iron. When I do laundry. When I cook. When I clean.

When I doubt myself. When I have faith. When I see Dad.

When I see our family. When I see your friends.

When I travel. When I’m scared. When I’m blessed and I know it.

Mom I see you.

In all the pictures, although they are few.

Is seeing you ever enough?

And when I lock eyes with you I see my reflection.

What would it be like to not be mom?

To not give life.

To not be responsible for another human.

To not worry about their whereabouts.

To not wonder if you’re good enough.

To not be afraid of what this world might do to them.

To not stress over their behavior.

To not feel like you’re doing it alone.

To not have to potty train.

To not have to hear your name one million times.

To not have your sleep disrupted.

To not pay any more school visits.

To not get another letter home.

To not hear any more crying.

To not hurt when they hurt.

To not cry when they’re not accepted.

What would it be like to not be mom?

Would you even want to know?

What would it be like to not be mom?

Well, that’s the thing about being mom, you don’t get to not be mom.

But what if you could? What if she was?

What would you tell?

Growing up, my sister and I spent a lot of time arguing back and forth. Often at the end of a verbal debate, one of us would yell “I’m telling mom!” to which the other would yell back “I don’t care!”

Often, those words weren’t true, we cared, but mom was not there, so we had to pretend.

My sister and I no longer argue. Nor do we threaten to tell mom. Arguing is not what we do and our mom is not here.

But what if she was? What would I tell?

I’m telling mom. I care. No need to pretend.

I’m telling mom how much I love and miss her. I’m telling mom how much I appreciate her. I’m telling mom how much I value every lesson she ever taught me. I’m telling mom how thankful I am that God chose her to be my mother.

I’m telling mom how grateful I am for everything she’s ever given me. I’m telling mom that all those times I said she didn’t love me, have proven not to be true. I’m telling mom that all those times I called myself not speaking to her because I was mad at her were not worth it.

I’m telling mom that all those times I didn’t want to hug, kiss, or say “I love you” because of who was watching were missed opportunities.

I’d do it now in a heartbeat.

I don’t care who’s watching.

Especially since she’s not here.

What about you?

What would you tell your mom?

And if you can, what’s stopping you?

Once upon a time an advertising copywriter saw a blind man in Regent’s Park with a sign that read: “I am blind. Please give”.

To help him raise more money, he rewrote the sign to read: “It is spring, and I am blind.”

Those passing by gave thought to what it must be like to not see the beautiful flowers, trees turning green, and the birds making their nests.

It helped them empathize with a blind person. And once that happened, they gave more..

In December 2020, over 900 cars paid for each other’s meals at a Dairy Queen drive-thru.

According to the general manager, the chain stretched for almost three days.

At the end of each shift she would give an update on the restaurant’s Facebook page.

“..Over 100 cars”

“We are still going strong…over 150 cars..”

“...OVER 275 cars..”

There’s something about seeing someone give that makes you want to give too.

There’s something about receiving that makes you want others to receive too.

Don’t let the chain break.

Someone is behind you.

John 3:16 is one of the most popular scriptures in the Bible.

You’ve probably heard it before.

“For God so loved the world that He gave...”

What’s your name?

Who or what are you so loving?

What’s your proof?

“Mandell so loved you that he gave...”

Try it, it works with your name too.

That’s your proof.

Oh, and who knew, both the giver and the receiver might be you.

That’s how love works.

On Saturday morning, for the first time, I visited Stone Mountain Park.

Years ago, my cousin posted his workouts up the mountain, and since then, I’ve wanted to walk up for some exercise.

Finally I went.

Alone.

I’ve been walking up the mountain for a good while now, and scared is the furthest thing from my mind.

Up and up, higher and higher, steeper and steeper.

Heading toward the height of the mountain.

1,683 feet above ground.

And then..

My scared snuck in.

I had gotten to the steepest part of the mountain.

There are guardrails for holding on.

But I felt resistance pulling me backward.

And backward I would have gone.

1,000 feet..

Had I not been leaning forward.

I’m going up this mountain, no longer all alone.

I have my scared with me now. It snuck in.

I’m beginning to wonder what would happen if I slipped and fell?

Would I be able to catch myself?

How far would I actually fall before I stopped?

Has anyone died climbing this thing?

Why would they offer something like this to the public, unmonitored?

The ground is wet.

Maybe this wasn’t a good idea after all.

I stopped myself while on the mountain.

I stopped to acknowledge my scared.

I stopped to remember all the times my scared snuck in, and how I overcame.

I stopped to breathe, to relax, to gather myself, and remind myself of what’s possible.

To remind myself what’s on the other side of my scared.

And then someone said “I promise, this is it, after this, it’s the top”

At that moment I realized how close I was.

I reached the top of the mountain.

And by the looks of it, you would’ve thought my scared snuck out.

It didn’t.

I just knew what to do with it.

After all, it is my scared.

Sometimes you might have courage.

Sometimes you might not.

Sometimes you might have courage in one area, while in another area you might not.

"MixCouraged"

You’re not fully discouraged.

You’re not fully encouraged.

You’re "MixCouraged"

You’re carrying encouragement and discouragement at the same time.

You’re pouring courage in, yet discouragement pours in too.

There’s a way to drown discouragement out.

There’s a way to override the mix, to favor courage.

Keep pouring courage in.

In courage yourself.

Like many children, I had dreams of one day getting rich and buying my mother a car.

I also dreamed of one day buying both my grandma and great-grandma new homes.

Unfortunately, all three passed before I was able to see those dreams come true.

I learned how to tithe from my mother (giving 10% of your earnings back to God).

A principle preached and lived by my mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother until their dying day.

A generational gift.

As I got older, I dreamed a new dream:

tithing 90% instead of 10.

Growing up, my Dad would say: “It’s not how much you make, it’s how much you keep.”

I remember making both my dream.

Making + Keeping.

As I got older, I dreamed a new dream.

“How much can you give away”

I dream it often.

"How much can you give away?"

I have a secret.

You ready?

Ok, here it is..

I don’t want to be a writer.

I never did.

I want to communicate well.

Writing is one way.

I want to give well.

Writing is one way.

I want to help people become better givers.

Writing is one way.

One way I have chosen to do the thing that I really want to do.

Can you be trusted?

With an ability..

Not to get so lost in the ability that you forget the purpose..

It’s important that we give space for non-dominant voices.

What if we saw non-dominant voices as a form of non-dominant giving?

There are voices that often go unheard because they aren’t dominant.

They aren't adults. They aren't male, white, rich, or famous. They aren't extroverted or tall, and English is not their first language.

A lot of gifts often go unnoticed for some of the same reasons.

They come from people who don’t check the boxes mentioned above.

There’s an old biblical story of a group of rich men giving their large gifts to the temple. In comes a poor widow giving her two cents. Yet somehow, she gave more.

You don’t need the dominant voice, and you don’t need the dominant gift.

You have something more to give.

No time for yourself is abuse to yourself.

Giving for love vs Giving from love.

Giving is not a feeling.

Giving is a commitment.

The more I write, the harder it becomes not to write.

The more I give to myself the harder it becomes not to give to myself.

Giving is something I get to do.

Who is the one person I could give to that would make giving to everyone else easier?

You cannot pour from an empty cup.

I’m a giver.

You too?

I give often to others.

You too?

Most times my giving is appreciated.

You too?

Sometimes it’s not.

You too?

But I don’t give to be appreciated.

You too?

One last question, everything that you do for others, would you do for

You too?

Ok..

Maybe..

Two,

If no one else appreciated you, could you appreciate

You too?

Me too.