It's lonely in the beginning.

But it's only the beginning.

September 1996, I was beginning my first day of third grade, in a new school..

terrified.

Beginning a new grade didn’t bother me, beginning a new school did.

I didn’t know anyone.

How would this play out?

The thought of the unknown scared me.

The thought of my mother leaving me brought me to tears.

The thought of beginning again crippled me.

As much as she tried to convince me everything would be ok, I still felt lonely.

Sad and afraid.

I cried the entire morning.

I didn’t want to go.

When we arrived at the school and mom said “Ok, I’m leaving now”.

I wailed out in tears.

“No, please, no, don’t leave me, stay with me please mommy”.

She agreed to stay a little while, and for a moment I would be a little ok. But the moment she hinted at leaving, the tears began again.

Back and forth we went, until finally she left.

I cried and cried, until I didn’t.

The next day it was as if the first day never happened.

I spent two years at that school and made my share of friends, some I still remember today.

But it's hard to see in the beginning.

And beyond the tears, the little that you do see, brings more tears, and leaves you feeling afraid and lonely.

All you can see, is you alone.

It’s lonely in the beginning.

But it’s only the beginning.